In case you mist it: Installing a cooling mist system

Most of the year, it's simply a paradise here in the desert southwest. However, in the apocalyptic heat of a Phoenix summer, we find ourselves dashing from air conditioned office, to air conditioned car, to air conditioned home. We do it quickly here, so we can get to our Popsicle stashes before we go into heatstroke. During these oppressive summer months in the desert, the temp rarely dips below 100°. One of the things we miss, huddled in our icy, electricity guzzling castles, is our outdoor living.

Luckily, our super-dry climate lends itself very nicely to evaporative cooling (and swimming pools!). Most restaurants with outdoor patios and amusement park lines employ a misting system to keep folks cool in the summer. Water flows through tubing and is forced through very small nozzles, vaporizing and cooling the area as much as 20 -35° F (11 - 20° C) in seconds.

We decided to install a low cost plastic tube misting system on the back patio. Perhaps if we like it, I'll upgrade to a sturdier PVC or copper tubing system in the future. Right out of the box, it was an easy install. I just uncoiled the tubing with the nozzle receivers already factory installed at regular intervals.

I attached it with the included nail-in clips. They were similar to the little white clips you normally see cable-tv wiring, only in a delightful, tube-matching tan.

Sweetness strikes again!

I screwed it to the hose and squirted the lines clean before installing the brass and steel nozzles. I installed some blank plugs in the end close to the house to keep the mist off the structure. One nozzle was an "auto drain valve" that was installed in the lowest point so that the water drains from the lines when the pressure is off.

Yep, that's some nasty corrugated fiberglass stuff.

I installed a handy 4 way metal hose connector w/ shut off valves at the rear faucet (one for pool filling, one for the garden hose, one for the mister system, and one for filling squirt-guns etc for pool-related combat).

I threaded the calcium filter in line with a new 6' garden hose and connected it to the system. A quick flip of the valve and sweet cooling water blasted out of the nozzles, curtaining the entire porch in a very-fine mist. It dissipated well before reaching the ground.

I know,... I know... I often take the extra, sometimes necessary step in my projects. I admit, you don't actually have to fire up a Weber Charcoal Grill when you test your own misting system. It's just how I roll folks, no shortcuts here.

I've seen fire and I've seen rain...

It really worked well. On a 109° day, the temperature dropped dramatically, or at least it sure felt like it did. Even though our patio living area is out of shape, desperately needing renovation, it's an enjoyable space in the heat of the afternoon. There's nothing like burning some meat on the grill, with a frosty beverage in hand, in the comfort of your own back yard (...in the shadow of a pointy-spiked, 20 foot tall saguaro cactus (?))

Just so I can avoid the inevitable requests,... and the begging,...and the whining,... here's the money shot. I know it's the key project detail you really stayed to see.

They like their 'dogs blackened. Don't blame the grill master!

We've been enjoying the cooling mist into the evening, several nights a week, reclaiming the night from the heat.

I don't know if this system will work where you live. I suspect that in the humidity of a Houston, Atlanta, or Orlando climate, it would not feel quite as refreshing to add more moisture to your air. I'd bet nice Popsicle will do the trick though. 

What do you think? Will a misting system make summers more enjoyable at your house?

Installing drip edge, or maybe not...

I'm really trying to wrap up the work on the front of the house. All that's left is replacing the drip edge that was removed when our predecessors built the dreaded tunnel of doom . I'd also torn off a good amount when I replaced the rotted facia boards.

Drip edge is a sheet metal flashing strip that slides under the roofing and over the top edge of the facia. It has a slight kick at the tip that kicks water off, away from the wood to keep water from ruining it. Here's a good look at the old stuff I'd removed a few weeks back when I tore out the facia.

You may have noticed, my normal practice is to attack a project in a frenzy like a shark on the scent of blood until about 90% complete. This is normally where my eye wanders and I leave the project, moving on to the next. I don't recommend this, and I don't have any good excuse; I'm just letting you know my style.

The problem is that this time it's obvious. not only is there a bright white metal strip missing on part of our roof line, but there's the issue of the remaining shingles not being fastened very well. I'd pulled nails and staples in my demolition. Our area suffered a pretty strong storm last week that uprooted trees and ripped up roofs, even clay tile shingles. We were mostly spared, but there was a little issue with loose edge shingles.

I got up early this morning, to beat the heat but couldn't really fire up the air compressor to nail it without waking the neighborhood. 

At least I could get to the quiet work of measuring, cutting, and dry fitting the edge. This stuff is hazardous. Just touching it, you can feel it really wants you to slide your bare hand along the edge, just once, so it can rip your tender flesh open. It wants to taste blood. I denied myself a trip to urgent care for stitches and slipped on some gloves. 

I took a quick tour around the rest of the house to see how the existing drip edge was installed around corners and peaks. It's pretty easy with a pair of tin snips. Here's an outside corner.

I slipped it into place, under the shingles, overlapping the next piece of edging. In some parts of the country, there's additional steps, such as getting it under the underlayment to prevent ice damming. Nothing we need to worry about here in Phoenix.

Heck, it almost never rains anyway.*

There were a few missing shingle parts from the storm. Luckily, I still have a scrap pile I can find some pieces to scavenge and cut here and there. 

In one case, I happened to find the exact missing puzzle piece laying over by the neighbor's yard. I tucked him back in under his blanket, nice and cozy. I'll come back and fasten it later, when I nail in the edge. 

I got the garage dry fitted and started wrapping around to the front, where the tunnel had been. 

The trouble is, I had cut through two layers of shingles in the middle of the roof face to remove the section over the tunnel. The old roof buried below was sticking out too far. I'd have to trim it back, flush with the facia somehow. I tried a razor knife, but that was ridiculously difficult. I ended up using my oscillating multi tool, even though I only had a wood / plastic blade on hand. It did really good when cutting from below,...

for a while. 

Yep. I destroyed the blade in a few short minutes.

I guess it's a trip to the hardware sto...."Boom!,... BOOOM!,... BOOOOOM! ....BOOOOOOOOOM...."

Someone to the south of us was evidently doing a reenactment of the cannonade, preceding the last charge in the battle of Gettysburg, early Sunday morning, no less. 

Ahhhhhh,... crud.

Normally, I'm accustomed to seeing a bright blue beautiful sky over there. A couple more flashes and deep rolling booms re-awakened my long dormant Michigan weather sense. 

"Fuuuuuuuuudgggggggge....." - Ralphie Parker

Everything was painstakingly dry fit into place. Shingles and edge would be blown to kingdom come in a storm. It looked like it was going to be a doozy. After a moment of cursing and staring stupidly to the south, I dropped what I was doing and fired up the compressor. I had originally intended to simply tack the edge into place with staples before nailing it with roofing nails and adhesive. I didn't even buy the nails yet. I grabbed the 18GA Stapler , scurried up the ladder, and started rapidly banging away. An adjustment to the depth wheel and it was sinking staples through shingles and edge easily, with the occasional spark from hitting granules. 

It looked like the storm might just pass to the west. I got the garage face nearly fastened when a big boom from behind startled the absolute crap out of me. It was coming my way after all. 

The stapler kept its cool and said, "Bang-ity, bang! bang! bang! bang!" getting me nearly to the end for the garage facia before the initial drops, preceding a cold sheet of rain hit me in the back.

* Heck, it almost never rains anyway. 

Idiot.

So much for that. How are your morning plans working out?

______________________________________________

PS - A PORTER-CABLE 3-Tool Combo Kit is one of the very best tool investments I've made for renovation projects and woodworking. It's small and portable. I use mine with its included guns, as well as a big 2-Inch to 3-1/2-Inch Framing Nailer, filling tires and pool toys, and blowing stuff off with a blast of compressed air. - John

Mounting a new address plaque

As we touched up the front of the house (tunnel demo, facia, window sill, lighting, flower bed), it has become painfully obvious that the old address plaque is in dreadful shape. Mr. Sun has toasted it. One more summer will probably do it in completely.

Wait,... What's up with the address number?*

An address sign is the house's "Hello" to the world,... or at least to visitors, Amazon.com deliveries, and, God forbid, 911 responders. In our neighborhood, emergency responders have done really well locating targets without using address signs. They've easily located night time emergencies due to the flames engulfing the structures.

This inexpensive plaque was one of the first things I had added when we moved in. It was a basic wooden plaque I painted and screwed on metal numbers. Cheap, easy, and effective. Besides the cracking paint and degrading wood, the newly installed light fixtures had a spacial conflict and wouldn't go up until I removed it.

Ok, ... DIY Guy, ... what the heck does that say?*

So here it's sat for weeks, knee-high to a grasshopper. It's hardly welcoming, barely visible beside vehicles and behind the huge mailbox and palm tree.

It's so sad and lonely down there.

Finally, the new one we'd ordered online arrived! Sweetie purchased a Whitehall 16"x 9" San Diego Carved Stone wall plaque from PatioSigns.com. This is 100% acrylic; hopefully, it will weather much better than the wood one. It seems like its made out of the counter top material. It's a nice look. The decorative border line and custom numbers are routed, rather than stuck on. The mounting screw holes are countersunk and there is a nice decorative ogee edge around the plaque. After finding an online coupon, she purchased it for $90.25, delivered. It's a custom piece, you get to pick colors and numbers. I feel it was pretty good turnaround, showing up on our doorstep in three weeks.

I measured the mounting hole locations and lined it up where we wanted it. I adjusted height to make sure the holes would land on a brick. I didn't want to hit weak mortar and have it blow out on me.

Well, isn't  this is an unflattering, weak-chinned angle.

If you've drilled in brick before with a standard drill, you know what pain it is, even with a fresh masonry bit. A hammer drill makes it downright pleasurable (other than the noise). If you're going to buy a high-end cordless anyway, it's not too much more to get the hammer option. This is my DeWalt 18-Volt XRP in action. It's an older NiCad battery style from my cordless set but is still widely available. Newer, Lithium-Ion versions versions are smaller, lighter, and run longer.

Watch how much quicker a hammer drill works. I start here with normal drilling, then switch to hammer mode (both in the highest speed setting (3)). 

Tap in some plastic masonry anchors,...

Official Klein Klein anchor tapping tool

   ...screw it in,..

Official Klein Insulated plaque screwdriver

... and "Hello" 

Simple.

* So how do you write about an address plaque without actually sharing your address with the entire connected world? Do it the same way Spielberg creates dinosaurs, with modern technology. A little digital sleight of hand and the numbers are switched. Geeks - do you recognize the language? What's it say? (Hint: It's not Klingon)

Rubber Biscuit! - Creating a flower bed from recycled materials

As part of my insane one-day blitz of completing as many projects I could fit, I tackled the new planting bed at our front entrance. I managed to get into it early, before the peak heat of the 4th hottest day ever in Phoenix . It was still a miserably hot experience.

We planted the flowers a couple weeks ago , so today was a border and mulch install day. We wanted a free form, curved bed, to contrast the sharp edges of the house and walkway. I used a string line to lay out a few shapes, until I found one that Sweetie liked. I measured the string to get an accurate length to put on the shopping list.

A clever string quote goes here.

We looked at our options and decided on something a little different. EcoBorder  ("Your best landscape Edge for a greener planet") is a flexible, molded edging. It comes in 4' sections with all needed hardware and is available in a variety of colors. Home Depot had red at one store, red at another, but they carry black, gray, and green on their website. We chose dark brown.

I find myself choosing "green" products more and more often when given the choice. This edging is made from crumb rubber, recycled tires. I'd certainly rather tires beautify our yard rather than spend a millennium in a landfill.

I started at the house, where I wanted the edging to butt up at an angle. It was extremely easy to cut with a hack saw. (I know, I know, a hacksaw?!!! Right, I'll break out a power tool later, I promise)

"Wear gloves" it says, vs steel-belted radial bits perhaps?

The sections coupling together with hard plastic pins. They have scalloped ridges, that should help them from backing out. The gap between sections mirrors molded groves equally spaced throughout the piece. I found it best to coupling a few pieces together before making exact, final placement. 

The instructions recommend driving stakes in the ends first. They also state the task requires a "household hammer". Huh? For a tool junkie, that's just gibberish!  There are a lot of hammers in my household; what am I supposed to use?,  ball-peen? sledge, framer's, electrician's, what?!!!.

Moving on, completely free-wheeling without concise, hammer guidance from the manufacturer, I selected Sweetness from my arsenal. Sweetness is my favorite beating stick, a Klein 808-20 Heavy-Duty Straight-Claw Hammer, a common favored sidearm of electricians, ohhhhhh yeahhhhh...

Once I had the sections roughly in place, I started pounding in stakes like Van Helsing. 

Isn't Sweetness  radiant in the sun?

I merrily staked three sections down, moving along at a rapid pace. This is hard-packed desert soil, not easy to penetrate, even with a shovel. I was happy with my progress,..then, I ran into trouble. I started hitting rocks. The plastic stakes did pretty good, but in the rough, rocky terrain, I snapped the button head off a couple and broke two of them clean in half. One breaking made Sweetness bounce into my knuckle. I may have let an expletive fly on that last one. Sorry neighbors. 

Looking for another solution, I soaked the ground down, no help. I didn't want to drive an old drill bit into the earth, because I knew there was a 3/4" electrical conduit and who knows what else buried below. Burrowing into a subterranean  electrical line is what professional electricians refer to as, "not a good idea". Finally, I Mac Gyvered it by chucking a long bit extension into my drill  backwards (Yayyyy! Power tool!). This put a blunt tip on the end. I set the drill on hammer-mode and slowly let it loose on the hard packed soil, while letting the hose dribble over the hole. 

Drill baby drill!!!

It worked. I had to move the routing a couple times when I hit rocks too big to drill past, but it was close enough, I was able to pound the final stakes. I suspect that a nice, soft grass lawn would allow these stakes to go in easily, compared to the Martian landscape of our front lawn.

One last display of the finest hacksaws-man-ship I could muster, and the border was complete!

The most important, and most used tool of the day is on the left: Gatorade

On to mulching, I found this Vigoro Rubber Mulch at Home Depot. Again, they have red and dark brown, but you can order many more colors on the their website. The dark, chocolaty brown matched the new border very well. I decided against tasting it, to review true chocolaty-ness for you. It was my loss perhaps, but the possibility of left over steel-belted-radial on my tongue, gave me pause.

I'd like to see someone drop this pallet off a building. Would it bounce?

Again, this is from recycled tires. But this time, it's shredded and colored, not crumbles, formed in shape. A close examination will actually show the occasional tire tread pattern. I chose it again for the "green" / recycled aspect, but I also liked the fact that there I wouldn't be laying out a buffet of of munchable wood right where I had found subterranean wood-eating insects feasting on our front porch overhang. The manufacturer states about this rubber mulch:

• Does not attract insects

• Saves time and money by eliminating annual mulching

• Prevents weeds

• 12 year color guarantee 

Sold!!!!!!

View fullsize

I bought 5 bags,...

View fullsize

... but needed 10 total.

Five bags installed, I'm on my way to Home Depot, again.

It was easy to work with, but odd. Dropping a handful on the sidewalk resulted in bouncing, ricocheting rubber. Weird, weird behavior for yard-work material.

What do you want for nothing? A rubber biscuit?!!

                                                            - Elwood Blues, Blues Brother

It was crazy hot by the time I finished. I think it turned out  looking pretty good though. I feel good about using the recycled material, especially since its low maintenance. 

Keeping in theme, I'm going to let Elwood take it from here, as only he can. You ever heard of a ricochet biscuit? 

rubber biscuit by Elwood Blues

Bow bow bow!

"You will go to the Dagobah system"

Obi-Wan Kenobi: [voice comes from out of nowhere] Luke. Luke!
Luke Skywalker: [weakly] Ben?
Kenobi: You will go to the Dagobah system.
Skywalker: The Dagobah system?
Kenobi: There you will learn from Yoda, the Jedi Master who instructed me.

- Star Wars, Episode V, The Empire Strikes Back

You know how some things sound really great, but when you take the plunge, not so much? I'm talking about convertibles, pet boa constrictors, joining the French Foreign Legion, and, of course, swimming pools. Visions of sparkling summer recreation can quickly turn into the reality of a green, swampy pit of wallet-sucking, time-stealing forced labor for survival misery. The planet Dagobah.

BUT, access to a swimming pool, in Phoenix, is pretty much compulsory. It's like having a snowmobile in Northern Michigan.  It's mid-June, and I still haven't gotten our pool operational. The weather would have allowed for swimming in April, but it's been a constant battle with the pool to get it habitable. It's an old pool, in need of a serous top to bottom retrofit, but it's cool, wet, and does the job, usually.

At least someone is swimming.

It's not quite as bad as the turtle pond above, but we have had it turn nearly this color when our Baracuda Vac sucked up a rock and I didn't catch it for a couple weeks. Yoda would have been quite comfortable, spending his years of exile in our backyard.

I'd already torn the filter apart and cleaned it twice this year. This time, it was blowing D.E. (diatamatious earth) filter-aid powder back into the pool. In the morning, it was easy to see that yellow slime mold was taking root again. Basically, the filter cycling dirty muck right back into the pool.

Even our house guest, Bella thinks it's horrid

Our Hayward DE3620 Pro-Grid 36-Square-Foot D.E. Pool Filter
takes 8 screens that look like fish skeletons covered with sail canvas. Locally, they cost 30 - 40 bucks (EACH!!!). I try not to replace them unless I absolutely have to, one at a time. Since Sweetie and the kids are bugging me and summer in the desert is in full (heat of hell-fire) blast, I bit the bullet and ordered a full set. Luckily, Amazon had a full replacement grid set, with good reviews, for $103 plus, it's eligible for Prime (free two day delivery). Scooooore!!!

Out of the box they look just as good as anything I've found locally. I let the pressure out of the filter and zapped the retaining ring off with my beloved impact driver.

You may want to have your children leave the room for this next photo. Brace yourself. I'm unleashing serious horribleness upon you, dear reader... You cannot un-see this...

Remember the way to kill a zombie?

AAAGHHHH!!!! That, my friends is slimy yellow mustard algae at it's finest. Believe it or not, I've seen worse. 

A single 37" centered bolt holds this contraption together. I managed to get it apart and remove the screens, getting just enough of this putrid green slime on me to make my stomach lurch, but I managed to keep my breakfast down with Herculean effort. Some screens were obviously damaged, with broken "bones", holes, and bits of yard debris inside, far too big to normally get that far in the system.

A month ago, the system had lost it's prime when the vac hose came undone and water was not flowing through at all for a whole day. The basket that normally catches debris, right before the filter, actually melted. When I had opened the housing, steam came out; the water was nearly boiling. The melted basket had allowed flotsam and jetsam to flow past, into the filter. I had thought the screens were ok, but if I had done this operation then, and we'd already be swimming.

After cleaning up the manifold, it was easy to pop the new screens into place. There's a slot on each that keeps them oriented in the right direction. The only thing to watch out for is placing one short narrower screen in the right spot, near the big inlet tube.

Screw the whole thing back together, and it's a single unit. It's so much easier to handle without the dry-heave inducing weight of that godawful slime-impregnated filter powder and fetid water.

Reversing steps, it's easy to put the whole thing back together. I just add the step of whacking merrily on the retaining ring with a rubber mallet as I tighten it, to ensure even seating. I fired up the system, loaded fresh DE powder through the skimmer and got the Barracuda prowling the depths again, greedily devouring it's prey. Clear water began discharging back into the pool. Hooray!!

Next, I turned my attention to the fallen, the wounded screens. 

I hosed them down, from a distance, and surveyed the damage. Three of them were completely wrecked. One, with a fingertip sized hole, was probably the biggest offender in causing the issues. Two others were significantly broken inside. I stomped them into submission, crushing them into broken carcasses of shattered bones, to fit in the trash can. It felt good.

I saved the rest. two look really good, the other three are serviceable in a pinch. I'll stick them in the shed for future emergencies. I cleaned the area up, loaded some liquid and tablet chlorine let the system run all day, and night....

Good night, sweet desert oasis

... and now, it's tomorrow! Holy sparking sunshine and blue water!!!!

Bella approves, but the Barracuda lurking below makes her nervous

I hereby proclaim: We shall swim again this day! Sorry Yoda. 

This one's for Jef, who loved it as a kid and played it endlessly:

MP-3: Yoda, by "Weird Al" Yankovic -Album:  Dare To Be Stupid

Replacing exterior lighting fixtures

Even though I'm currently on a big home / yard maintenance and repair binge, I occasionally have to get back into the fun tools and do some upgrade / renovation work, or I'll go mad. I interrupted the yard work for a bit this weekend to replace our exterior fixtures.

I know, I know,... there's still primer on the front. I'll get back to painting,... honest!

There's two on the garage face, one by the front door, and one on the side of the garage. They were beat up,  mismatched and ugly. Sweetie and I headed over to The Home Depot to pick out some replacements. We wanted something dark, to offer a little contrast with our light beige and brick home. We picked out the
Waterton Wall-Mount Ridge Bronze Lantern by Hampton Bay. It's so dark, it looks black.

The original brass fixture at the front door had been hidden behind the crazy entry way tunnel that I'd just torn down. Now, it just looked really bad next to the black screen / security door we'r repainted.

With the circuit off, I loosened a couple hand-tight nuts and removed the fixture from the wall. There were only two wires to remove from the wire nuts. Not good. The ground wire was unused, which could lead to an electrified metal fixture, in the event of a short. Typical crap left by our DIY predecessors.

There were two black wires (hot) and two whites (neutral) in the junction box, each tied together. This means that the "hot" current carrying conductor goes somewhere else, in addition to the switch that controls it. In this case, it feeds an exterior GFCI convenience receptacle below. Therefore, the receptacle, is controlled by the same switch that controls the light (really convenient for Christmas / Halloween light decorations).

I tied the new fixture wires into the existing wire joints. 

Scary warning: Don't mess with electrical, unless you know what you are doing. 120 volts of household current can kill you just as dead as much higher voltages, it just lets you suffer longer, and folks can recognize you in your casket. Plus, electrical issues can do a heck of a job burning your house right to the ground. Get a professional electrician. If you do the prep work, this project is a snap for someone who's trained; it shouldn't cost too much. Even if you know what you are doing, I recommend you work it like it's live, even if it's not. 

Tip#1: When I am wiring a smaller wire to a larger one, I stick the smaller one slightly beyond the larger wire and hold it tight when twisting on the wire nut. Note how I'm only touching the insulation, not the copper. Also, see how I have my knuckle on the metal (grounded) box. In the unlikely event that somehow the circuit is (or becomes) live, despite my precautions, current would go through my fingers only, not through my chest / heart.

Tip#2: Make the connections in this order GROUND (normally bare copper or green), NEUTRAL / "COMMON" (normally white), HOT (normally black or red). Don't trust the colors, because there are situations where the white and black can be reversed, in switching, and there are regional differences in wiring practices. Electricity is color-blind.

I always give a quick tug on the wires to make sure they're locked in tight.

Next, I install the mounting bracket. This one is pretty neat. It's fully adjustable from a vertical to horizontal screw holes. I laid a torpedo level on it to make sure the counting screws were level, and tightened it down. It's a little awkward working with the fixture tucked under one arm to keep it from hanging from the wires, but it's light and can be done. 

Tip# 3: Whenever I'm wiring to a screw, like this ground screw, I always wrap the wire clockwise around the screw. This way, as the screw is tightened, it pulls the wire tight against it, rather than pushing it away. I also give it a little tug to make sure it's on there good and tight. 

I slipped the new fixture up on the mounting screws and added the mounting nuts. What I found to be typical  of all four fixtures was that the mounting screws were ¹/₄" too long. The nuts wouldn't tighten the fixture to the wall.

I had to pull it down and remove the mounting gadget. Luckily, my wire strippers have a built in screw cutter. I threaded the 8/32 screw into the hole, and gave them a quick squeeze, "SNAP!" = shorter. Unscrew it from the strippers and put the whole thing back together. Back in business!

Moving to the garage face, I pulled down another fixture. Lovely. No junction box, nothing sealing the fixture to the wall to keep water out, no attached ground wire (stuffed back in the wall), and only black electrical tape wrapped around the wire nuts. Dang these hack-job / drunken meat heads that preceded me!

I mounted the bracket, attached the ground wires, and used silicone filled wire nuts, facing tip upwards. I put a bead of silicone caulk on the top of the fixture and filled the mortar-joint groove with silicone so water would not get in from above. It's much better than what was there. 

Gracie was fascinated by the hundreds of insect carcasses left behind following their unsuccessful attempts to eat flaming hot light bulbs over the last many years. I piled the beat up fixtures on the bulk-waste pile out by the curb. someone actually snagged them within a few minutes. I'm glad they won't end up in a land fill.

Bugzzzzzzz

I replaced the incandescent lamps and a couple compact florescent with new Cree 9-Watt (60W) Daylight LED Light Bulbs  from Home Depot. These should last a looooooong while, save money, and don't' have the hazardous disposal issues that CFL's have. 

Done! They all work perfectly and look much better.

I don't think I can avoid painting for much longer.

We have the garage lights on a Programmable Timer Switch with Astronomical Clock that keeps them on at night and off during the day. We've kept them on all night ever since someone tried to help themselves to my last truck hammering a massive screwdriver into my passenger door lock. Bastards.

We think it looks much better. Not bad for a couple hours easy work eh? I had to take the address plaque off to fit this new light. It's time for a new one anyway. The DIY wooden one was looking rough.

I can't get the camera phone to take a decent shot of a nighttime view, but you can see these lamps really throw down some light. I hope they don't divert air traffic to land in the drive way.

What do you think?

 

Bulk time again! Still outside in the heat.

Plans are destined to be broken. I'm still far from completing the interior door replacement project started back in February and intended to finish in March. One thing after another just keeps getting in the way.

Now, it's time for quarterly bulk waste pick-up. I can't leave the yard work another three months or the HOA will nail us with a nasty-gram. This happened once when we first moved in, with no bulk pickup anytime near. The trees went a little wild, so we hired a landscape crew with a giant truck and a chipper to haul it all away. 800 bucks my friends; I've been DIY'ing it ever since.

So it's outside again, in the hottest temperatures so far this year. We have mesquite trees that grow like weeds on steroids, dragging on the roof in no time. I started trimming from the peak of the roof like King Kong with a pole saw, just after 7:00 am, when it was "cool" in the high 80's.

"Not dead yet"

I'd given this particular tree up for dead last year. I cut it back to the largest branches that I could get through with my saw. There wasn't a trace of green left. Then,...it burst back to life, overnight it seemed.

Following the cut, a massive clean-up begins. I have to drag this jungle of green out to the curb...

Welcome to the jungle, no fun and games

... and line it up for processing like a slaughterhouse. 

It took big-ass clippers, an aggressive-bladed reciprocating saw, and gallons of frosty, refreshing beverages to work through four loads of this.

Next, it was onto the palms. These bee-infested Q-tips of doom had to be cut back before they got out of control.

At least I can still catch them from a ten foot ladder with a pole saw. Some of the neighborhood trees are 40-50 feet, and require a professional to scale up and trim them. They're neat looking, but useless trees. At best they throw a 5 foot blotch of shade in the neighbor's yard, two doors down.

You have to cut these saw-toothed death-fronds when they're still green and cut easily. I have refined a talent at getting them to drop just right where they manage to fly directly at me, leaving nice, bright red scratches on my arms, legs, and neck so that I have to go back to work looking like I have spent time in a burlap sack fighting a pissed off alley cat. Of course, this is not a good comparison, because cat scratches probably wouldn't welt up quite so badly from an allergic reaction.

Finally, I ended up with a massive beaver-dam of waste, waiting to be picked up by our heroic cadre of the Phoenix waste collection services. 

Cropped high and tight

At least this particular project is done for a few months. Now I can get back on track with the door project,... well, after I finish painting the facia and the front of the house,... and installing drip edge, and fixing the pool filter. Evidently, I'm supposed to spend June in Phoenix outside, lovely. 

Oh yeah, I nearly forgot: Meet the new twins!

I finally got to break in a new pair of Red Wings. I bought the same style I'd had to retire recently. I really like the 8683 Men's Hiker Boot. These are much better on the old aching dogs than shoes for this sort of work. Fare thee well old pair, gone but not forgotten.

Beloved  Red Wing work boots

(original pair)

2003 - 2013

A walk in the park

Completely Sidetracked

I got out early to beat the heat. The task was to finish priming the new facia boards and to sand and prime the house where I'd removed the entry lattice / tunnel. Settle in for a long one folks, because when I came to a fork in the road, I did not stay on the direct path.

Initially, I made good time on the facia boards using a 4" roller, planning to fall back and cut in the edges with a brush after I got the affected front of the house sanded and primed. It was just a small strip that needed painting, only 2 to 4 inches wide, but...The lattice wall had attached to the house front atop a big slab of a sill under the front window. This sill /slab / trim could use a good sanding. Just a bit off task, maybe, but it would only take a few minutes. 

To say there was a bit of dried-up, caulk would be an understatement. I started removing clumps of it with a chisel and a utility knife. I think half the wall was constructed from caulk. I now recognize I had really started veering off track at this point.

It was particularly lovely to discover there were three chunks of wood, apparently glued in with caulk, to fill the voids where the sill (bottom) didn't reach the jamb (side). The sill wood was split and rotted. Maybe some more appropriate filler was needed. Still just a little sidetracked.

 The trim slab wasn't even against the house. I gave it a test wiggle. Uh ohhh.

Ohhhh,...it's coming right the heck off. Mayday! Mayday! The original plan is in a nose dive!

Some interesting archaeological revelations (while I'm completely ignoring today's plan):

• This big piece of wood was held on with nails from inside the house, through the exterior T-111 siding material, I guess before drywall went in. Most the nails were very loose. I'm no expert, but this seems stupid.
• Apparently the house was originally a light, 1979 aqua blue.
• The house must have been vacant for a significant time in its history. That weedy looking stuff is some sort of grass that must have grown up, behind the trim piece. It appeared to have grown completely behind and around it and stuck out the top. There were traces of the weed sticking through the massive caulk plug under the window. It had been cut flush with the bottom and with the face of the window trim.
• The original front faucet was roughed in where this trim piece went. I found a hole that I could stick my finger through and feel the plumbing, with couplings and elbows leading to the current location.
• Some late 70's carpenter had scrawled "3 x 10" here in pencil. The board was 10 feet long, 10" high, and a full 3" thick. Not something you could probably find at your local home center these days.

I know should have been working on the facia, but... I loaded the random orbital random orbit sander with some toothy 60 grit and started sanding. I clipped most of the nails with my lineman pliers and pushed them back in the wall. A few were clipped through the edge of a stud and were at odd angles. I didn't' want to pound them back into the house and cause mystery damage inside the wall, so I broke out the Dremel, loaded a cut-off wheel, and let some sparks fly.

We decided to replace the big slab sill with a 2x10. A quick trip to Home Depot was in order. Gracie accompanied me on my quick trip,... on the first Saturday of the month,... to Home Depot. Are you aware of what happens at Home Depot on the first Saturday of the Month, in the lumber section?

Pandemonium. Pint-sized side-tracking on a colossal scale. That's what. No way I could keep my little girl away from this:

Building a lawn mower pencil holder

Finally, back to the fort, I engaged the big ol' clamp in spreading mode to use it as a jack. This is getting pretty interesting. Wasn't there something else I should be doing?

Forgoing the whole "cram scraps in the hole and caulk it in" approach, I wanted to cut the board to fit. I used a rafter square to transfer the end location of the cut. The critical step here was to utilize a neon pink pencil. Otherwise, obviously, the whole project would have failed. Take it from me, all serious craftsman have a neon pink pencil readily at hand.

A quick scribing of the measurement with a compass by setting it to the gap on the side and transferring it to the mid section.

Then I ripped the length of the mid section with a cordless circular saw and cut the ends with a reciprocating saw. Paintbrush? What paintbrush? DEWALT power tools will always win that battle.

It took a little adjustment with the planer to fit snug. I jacked it up, and shot it in place with the framing nailer, into the studs. I created some vertical trim boards to replace the missing ones below the sill out of recycled pallet wood I had stored in the garage.





At this point, I really committed to my sidetracked approach. I heroically continued to not sand and prime as planned. The heat had worn me down enough. I cleaned up, went inside, and planned my next step. By "planned", I mean I ate a slice of cold pizza and fell asleep on the couch.

Now cooled down, I returned to the battle to meet the morning's first objectives,... in the afternoon. Darn that evil, side-tracking front window project. Only pride kept me out there in the blast furnace of the peak heat of a Phoenix afternoon at the record heat of 111 degrees. I'm so glad I waited.

Finally, back on track, and suffering in the horrors of the afternoon sun, I got it all primed.

Including that dreadful, side-tracking project that tacked hours onto the day.

  

You ever let a side-tracking project take you down the rabbit hole?

Measure not, cut once (maybe)

I got too smart for my own good, and this time it bit me.

Anyone worth their salt in the world of building stuff has heard the old English proverb, "Measure twice, cut once". Wiktionary states it plainly:

One should double-check one's measurements for accuracy before cutting a piece of wood; otherwise it may  be necessary to cut again, wasting time and material.

Of course it makes sense, but whenever I get a chance to not use a tape measure, I take it. I scribe lines,  use story sticks, and pieces of scrap wood to transfer cut lines. Don't get me wrong, I can read a tape; I know my fractions,...honest. I even use a handy construction calculator to solve complex equations accurately. These alternate methods are just very accurate and very fast. Tom Silva of This Old House does it all the time; he knows a thing or two about building stuff.

In working on the front facia replacement project, I found that copying the exact miters and angles from the original boards was inaccurate. The original boards were warped, dry-rotted, and had shrunk. With one side of the garage face complete and installed, I took a piece of scrap up to the peak and scribed the cut line with a compass. By holding the compass at a steady angle and sliding the point along the existing edge, it draws (scribes) an accurate line, no measuring, no angle gauge, no protractor.

The Compass: It ain't just for drawin' circles anymore

It is easier to use a small piece of scrap to do this, rather than fight a 16 foot 2x6 hunk of lumber up and down the ladder. I put the marked scrap on the miter saw, swung the saw to the correct angle and sliced it. The scrap became a template for the real cut. I make it a practice of scooting back up the ladder with the scrap to check the fit and cut direction before I cut a big expensive board. The boards I was using had a rougher side; I did not want that side facing outwards. Perfect fit!

I have a cool cheat at the saw station; I'd added the DeWalt Miter-Saw LED Work Light System. This neat widget projects light on the work-piece and lays the crisp shadow line of the blade itself on the work piece. There's no single-sided laser to keep adjusted and no batteries, since it's powered by the saw. It's economical and installs easy.

If you squint, you can see the miter saw. It's in another zip code, but mail still gets there in a few days.

I had not set up my saw station to cut 16 foot boards. To fit, I had to open the door to the house and let precious, sweet, air-conditioned coolness, leak unchecked into the neighborhood. Sweetie gave me the skunk eye and waived the checkbook at me. Naturally, I said "Baahhhh!" and waived her off, I had sawdust to spray! I lopped the end off.

Next, I clamped the big board in place on the house, letting it run long, past the 45 degree miter at the end. I used another piece of scrap, with a pre-cut 45 degree miter, to precisely line up the joint and traced a line on the big board at the end of the scrap piece. It was easy to use the scrap as a template and precisely trace the miter cut line back on Terra firma, in the driveway. After another trip into the miter station, I triumphantly, slung the fresh trimmed board on my shoulder, scurried up the ladder and fit it into place. What the...

A slap in the facia

...two feet short! Two feet?!!!  In a monumental feat of dumb-assery, I had engaged an expensive, 12-inch carbide-tipped tool of  high-tech, precision-guided cutting technology,... on the wrong damn pencil line! It was the original line drawn against the butt end of the scrap. Laying discarded on the out-feed side of the blade was a shiny new piece of scrap with the actual cut line still intact. I had forgotten my normal practice of putting an X on the "no-cut" line. Since there were neighborhood children playing in the vicinity, I managed to choke back an especially colorful expression of my frustration before it left my lips. The ears of the cosmos were spared this day.

Unfortunately, my tool collection does not include a board stretcher. A seam on the front of the house  would look bad and not age well, so it's back to the store for a new $20 board.

Please don't tell Tom Silva.

Planting and drip irrigation

We took some time out from the structural work on our front entry and decided to beautify it a bit, since it looked so plain after tearing out the overhang. Sweetie suggested we get some lantana to spruce it up for a while we decide what sort of permanent porch / landscape we'll want in the future.



Shhhh...don't tell anyone my pickup truck has a hidden trunk in the bed.

While much of the rest of the country shivered under Cold Miser's last gasp of frigid torture, we were visited by his argumentative brother Heat Miser who treated us to our project conditions of 102 degrees.

Lantana seems to do pretty well here in the direct sun and heat, especially the yellow ones. Of course, everyone knows this and purchased all the nice big ones. Instead of 4 large ones as planned, I brought home 8 small pots.

We soaked the whole area down to loosen the soil.

With the oddities of our home, I don't simply sink a shovel anywhere in our yard. This project was no different. I found a mystery electrical conduit and a main irrigation line inches below the surface. The hard packed soil is just easiest / safest to dig with a high pressure garden hose nozzle and my hands (or a plastic kid shovel)

No work boots here.

We started loosening the roots, adding potting soil, and plugging them in the holes. My assistant made sure I was working in the swampiest conditions possible.

Once they were planted, I punched a hole in the main sprinkler tube (conveniently dead ended right at the first plant) and turned on the system. No water. After fifteen minutes of screwing around, I cut the line open and discovered a wad of roots and nastiness had plugged the line just past the point I had made a repair this winter. Luckily, I had another coupling and the tubing needed to fix it. I ran lengths of the 1/4 inch tubing from the main line to each plant, staked it, and added a flag dripper head. The nice thing about these systems is that you simply punch a hole, add a barbed coupling to the tubing and stab it into the main line by hand. Easy.

 

I need to get some decent stakes designed for this instead of junk I had laying around the garage. With the system on, each of the lantana received it's quenching drips of liquid gold needed to survive in the desert. The irrigation timer will take care of them from now on.

 

 

We just need to get some mulch down and some kind of border. This type of plant expands pretty good here and only dies down in the winter. In our experience, it comes back stronger each year. It should fill this whole area in a fairly short time.

 



It was nice to change gears and do something different. I had plenty of excitement with the occasional, "accidental" dousing of a hose or spattering of mud following a good Gracie puddle jump. She had to strip down in the garage, for an immediate trip to the bathtub.

Liquid madness.

How could I not close with the pure, unadulterated joy of a child playing with a hose at the peak heat of the day?

 

 

A walk in the park

We took some time off from home projects to go for a family hike in the largest city park in the country. Nope, we didn't fly to New York, we practically stayed in our back yard, South Mountain Park in Phoenix.

For those of you outside the desert southwest, a half mile from the urban metropolis, it can be like an alien landscape. It's somewhere you wouldn't be surprised to see armed guerillas from Planet of the Apes ride up on horseback. I thought I'd show some photos, to help share the Arizona in AZ DIY Guy.



The trail started out easy. It was well maintained.

It was a nice day, but it got pretty hot during our excursion. We probably should have left a little earlier, but a hefty coat of sunblock and a bunch of water made it bearable as we set off down the trail.

Frodo and Sam?

Behind us we could see the high rises in Downtown Phoenix in the distance.

The landscape was covered with giant Saguaro Cactus. We do have a few in our yard, but it was cool to see so many in the wild. Many were easily 20 feet tall with several arms.

This one's in rough shape.

Saguaro down.

We passed a couple dams, built in the 30's, from what we understand. There's not a drop of water up there now.

Dam!

Dam again!

We managed to find a couple of the ancient Hohokam petroglyphs. We missed plenty in the rest of the park, but that's for other days

An original AZ DIY project from long, long ago

Can you spot this one? A spiral, just left of center frame.

On the way back, going got rough. Gracie took a spill and scratched up her hands. Luckily, Jack packed some Band-Aids. Big brother washed her up and took care of the damage.

She was dog tired and scared of tripping again. Daddy had to carry her...

... and it really started getting hot, 92º at this point.

Then, tragedy of tragedies, one of my oldest friends succumbed to the harsh, rocky environment. If you are squeamish about horrendously graphic and fatal damage to finely crafted, rugged footwear, you may not want to look at the photo below: 

One of my trusty Red Wing work boots lost its sole. These tough-as-nails soldiers have served me on the front lines for over 10 years. You've probably even seen them in several of my posts. They'd been glued up once before, but there just wasn't much rubber left in the old boys. They got me within a quarter mile of the truck, past the worst part of the trail, before finally gasping their last. Luckily, I had a Red Wing, heavy-duty insole with just enough liner holding it in, to limp back on.

Beloved Red Wing work boots

2003 - 2013

Rest in peace

I guess I'm down to athletic shoes for the next project.

Installing new facia boards,... solo style

After tearing off the front overhang on our house, we need a new facia board. While I'm at it, it's time to fix the sun-beat, peeling, rotten soffit that's along the whole front of the garage. Surely, the HOA will soon ding us on that as well.

I started the day at Home Depot, then Lowes. Both were down to fuuuugly 2x6x16 boards this morning. There were twisted, knotty, and split misfits.  'Depot was nearly picked clean. Hopefully, this is a good sign for our economic recovery; people (besides me) are working on their homes again. I managed to dig through the entire stack and find three serviceable boards at Lowes.

Loading the big 16 footers into a pickup with a 5 foot bed was a challenge. Even shoving them through the sliding rear window left too much hanging out the back, so I opted to go upstairs with it:


Not a surfboard, dudes.

Lugging those big boys onto the truck, I started thinking the idea of a solo soffit install might just be beyond me. Working with a heavy, 16 foot board atop a ladder and trying to nail it in place now seemed more difficult than it had earlier.

I thought I'd make some sort of custom contraption with 2x4 T-braces, but I realized I had cut up my stock of 2x4's building the miter saw bench. After some stubble scratching thought, I came up with a workable method. I put the ladder in the middle of the run and balance the board on it. I lifted the board, held it, and used a one-handed woodworking clamp to secure it in place. Bingo!

Clampeyness

The door-end of the board required a compound miter cut due to the angles of the two soffits combining on two planes. I used a piece of scrap to scribe a pencil line, front and back, and then connected the two lines across the bottom of the board.

Scribing the outside angle.

I took the board back down and set up to cut both angles, on B.A.M.S. (big ass miter saw - as coined by Kit over at DIY Diva). This was the first time I'd actually used the saw to cut a compound miter. It paid for itself today, slicing and dicing 2x6's with precision and ease. My homemade, beefy saw bench was priceless when man-handling those massive boards. At one point, it stuck out so far, I had to open the door into the house and stick it inside.

B.A.M.S having lunch.

After clamping the board up again, B.A.N.G. came out to play (big ass nail gun - I claim that one). I shot the board into the rafters and then again through the decking, resetting the clamps as I worked across to keep it tight. I actually hit the framing rafters behind,... most of the time.

Bang - Bang - Bang

Rounding the corner, to move up along the garage, the old facia looked even worse up close.  I don't think the wood was ever primed.

Mr. Hook, it's been lovely, but you'll not hold Christmas lights again.

I had to work my way up slowly, gently prying the shingles up and pulling out the staples that held the metal drip edge. This was precision work, best suited for a small prybar / nail puller.

It also was tedious work. There were a million of those pesky staples to pry out. The sun started getting to me so I broke for lunch, a healthy dose of sunblock, and my sexy hat. Oh yeah, I know the ladies will be drawn to the floppy lid, but too bad, I'm taken. And no, I'm not going to share a source link for this sweet slice of melon shading headgear.

It's a Stubble Sunday, but  you just can't take your eyes off the ol' chapeau can you? Don't be jealous.

After the 1x2 behind the drip edge popped off easily with a Wonderbar Pry Bar , I tried to pry off the old facia. It wouldn't come off without damaging the decking and framing, because it was nailed both through the top and the face. I pried the decking up a bit and cut nails with some diagonal cutters for a while. Finding that a pain, that still left some nail-nubs behind, I changed tactics. In came the reciprocating saw with a bimetal blade which sliced the nails off flush as I ran it down the seam, a much better approach.

Ye old nail slicer.

A couple hearty whacks with the FUBAR sent it tumbling to the ground with a clatter. I'm really glad I'd moved the cars out of the way. I used it to trace the angles to the new board before taking it in for a visit with B.A.M.S for a quick bit of slice and dice. No compound cuts this time, just nice simple angles.

The clamp trick worked perfectly again. I skadooshed it into place with B.A.N.G and called it good for the day.

A heaping helping of cleanup was in order, again. I'd managed to blast debris in a wide radius around the work site, which is where (inconveniently) we park our vehicles. I hired out some skilled labor to police up all the nails and staples. She drove a hard bargain, but it was cheaper than buying a new tire.

There's still lots of work to do on this project. I still have half the garage face to demo and replace. I need some 1 x 2's, drip edge, primer, and paint.

Tearing it all down! Bones and all.

A new weekend dawns, so does the need for more destruction. Since the

HOA told us to tear down our front overhang, we started immediately . It sat in skeletal, semi-demolished form since last weekend, when I had taken the roof off. Rather than wait for the afternoon heat, I got going in the morning, right after breakfast, while it was cool.

The old bones, and a munchkin.

Out of a concern for breaking the framing parts of the overhang that need to stay, I decided to isolate them by cutting them off close, leaving the lumber weight on the outboard frame. The first thought was to use a circular saw, but the framing was so full of nails, staples, and junk, I figured it would ruin the blade. Instead, I loaded a new Diablo "Demo-Demon" Carbide-Tipped Blade in the Reciprocating Saw.

Locked and loaded

I've used bimetal blades that would cut metal before, but not carbide tipped like this red devil. This bad boy blade chewed through the 2 x 4's  like butter. It ripped through everything so smoothly, I could use the saw one handed while holding the board with the other. The blade tore through lumber with just the weight of the saw. They were all cut in about 5 minutes. The urchins stayed inside, watching cartoons, during this part. I needed to watch my own head and not worry about beaning a kid with a nail encrusted board.

Sliced like butta'

I thought about cutting them again, close to the outer frame, but it only took a quick lift and jerk; they tore out of the clips holding them in a shower of flying splinters and nails. A quick couple cuts to the outer frame took it down as well.

chopped

The saw blade was not big enough to cut the support that was still standing. I considered using a chain and the truck or maybe... <gasp> a non-powered, hand saw... to take it down. In a fit of goofiness, I kicked the thing.

I haven't thrown a martial-arts move, of any sort, in over 13 years. But, true to form, when I actually executed a near perfect shuffle sidekick, there was no one around with a camera. When my size 12 Red Wing work boot connected with that beam it sheared off and flew, landing in a cloud of dust. First kick too! BAD-ASS STILL HAS THE MOVES!!!

Of course, the whole street was empty. No witnesses to the unarmed, Chuck Norris style carnage I had visited upon the mighty slab of lumber.

I strutted over to inspect my fallen victim. Ahhh,.... Crap.

The dang thing was simply eviscerated with termite damage. I was even able to reach in a pull a chunk from the hole and crush it to powder, bare-handed. A five year old could have kicked that thing down,... barefoot. Heck, I could have sneezed that thing over. An especially charming realization is that it was the primary support for the entire structure, and I'd been tromping around up there last weekend, like an idiot. I'm lucky I didn't kill myself in a tumbling roof collapse. At least there was no evidence of live termites.

Demo is always so fast. 10 minutes and I was done with the major structure.

Who turned on the lights?

Now onto the detail stuff, I had to be careful not to harm the structure needed to attach the new facia boards. I tried the big demolition jaw on the Stanley Fubar , but it was too much. It gripped  the board well, but when I twisted the tool to pull the board off, I could see and hear that the framing I was trying to save was going to be damaged. Switching to the demo hammer on the Fubar and banging away, while prying left-handed with a Wonderbar Pry Bar  did the trick. Patience paid off. Soon, boards were flying to the ground again.

Stop! Hammer time!

Gracie came out to lay down some carnage as well. She kept her head out of the way this time.

Klein! Hammer time!

Another problem, what to do with a concrete, with a square hole, right where Sweetie wants to plant some flowers? 

...but can you put a round peg in a square hole?

Of course, it was time to bring out SLUF, (Short, fat, ugly "feller").

It’s a full sized sledge, customized with its handle cut off at 17″. It was given to me by a foul-mouthed middle-eastern gentleman with muscled forearms the size of gallon paint cans. He drove electrical grounding rods with it, like they were thumbtacks. Sorry folks, I can't give you a source link for this, you gotta make your own (or find your own foul-mouthed, middle eastern gentleman to make one for you).

S.L.U.F., the not-so-gentle persuader

I pounded the stuffing out of that concrete. Of course, contrary to all the other half-assed construction our predecessors did, they built the heck out of this particular detail. It wasn't just run of the mill Sackrete in the post hole, they'd loaded it with a heavy aggregate mix, full of crushed gravel, and very resistant to a quickly tired knucklehead pounding away on his hands and knees in the sun with a heavy one-handed hammer.

I wore myself out with that stupid, stumpy sledge-hammer.

Sitting there in the hole, resting after all that hammering with concrete shards pinging of my face, I noticed something, that wiped that stupid smirk off my face...

Temitus-Bastardus-Home-Chewerus

The hole was crawling with what I'm fairly sure are termites. We'll have to have the place treated. Dang it; that's probably not cheap.  No termite tubes, the little beasts were using the support beam as an elevator.

The secret passage.

Food for five years, a thousand gallons of gas, air filtration, water filtration, Geiger counter. Bomb shelter! Underground... God damn monsters.

- Burt Gummer, Hard Core Survivalist (Tremors)

The whole area got a good soaking with the hose and a healthy dose of Demon WP  through the pump sprayer. 

The entire exterior of the house got sprayed as well. I had learned about Demon when we were in Texas. It's a murderer. Hopefully, it will keep their migration down, now that I've taken their source of crunch and munchies away, with a spectacular, un-witnessed side-kick.

It's hot and the demo is done. Next, new facia and drip edge has to be installed to finish this project up.

What do you think? The house look too plain now?

---

UPDATE!!

I'm honored to have this story chosen to be featured an Bob Vila's website as part of the "Bob Vila Nation" " of contributors from the blogging community. 

Please check it out and give me a vote by the hammer image.

(UPDATE II: looks like Mr. Vila & Co. canceled this program and deleted all the Blogger created stuff)

And so it begins - demolition day

Since we hate our front door overhang / porch / hobbit tunnel, and the HOA conveniently demanded that we remove it, I decided to jump right into the demolition this weekend. As a certified dimwit, I thought the hottest weekend of the year (to date) would be a great time to climb up on the roof. With other commitments, I was only able to find bits of time here and there, to tackle the project.

Two minutes wielding the mighty Stanley FUBAR (Functional Utility Bar) resulted in lattice and splinters blasted across the front yard like a cruise-missile strike. This beast of a tool is like having the very essence of destruction itself, leashed in your hand.

Don't you just want to skip barefoot across our lush front yard?

Since bulk waste pickup isn't for another month and a half, I spent the next couple hours breaking the lattice down, bundling it into three rolls of slats for storage, and cleaning the front yard of stray wood bits, nails, and staples. That was all the time we had on Saturday.

Late Sunday morning, I found a very efficient way to quickly dull razor blades. Carving through the face of four layers of granulated shingles makes quick work of blunting your knife. A blade lasted only about one linear foot before it had to be replaced. I made good use of a Stanley Quick-Change Utility Knife, making it easy to constantly flip and swap blades. I used a Edge Cutting Guide , normally for a router or circular saw, to keep my line.

This was some tedious, hot work. I took my time, really wanting that shingle edge to look straight and clean. At least the yard didn't  get too messy. Each time I gave the all clear, Gracie would scurry up and pile the bits of shingles and tar paper that rained down below. It took a bit longer because I had to be extra careful about nails and keeping the drop zone clear of my happy little helper.

It took about a 45 minutes to finish the cut line. It turned out pretty good, but it's thick as heck with 4 ply of shingles at that point.

I sat down for a cold drink and called my young squire for my weapon. I recall that I'd seen on one of the multitude of DIY shows on cable, that a flat blade shovel is the tool of choice for stripping shingles. Time to put it to the test. My blade, young Padawan...

 

The shovel stripped the roof like a champ. Two minutes and the deck was clear. I ran into some old termite damage out at the far edge, not a good sign.

"...I smote it's ruin upon the mountainside"

Once again, a diabolical lack-of-fun reared its ugly head, cleanup.  Jack donned a pair of gloves and came out to lend a hand. We drug the pile over to the "alley" beside the garage and piled it on a tarp for disposal later. It's nice to have a larger kid who can really pitch in and help. It made much shorter work of the mess.

Yeah, that's a laundry hamper from the garage. Shhhhhhhh.....

We finished tidying up and left it alone for a few hours while we ran some errands. After all, it was only 87 degrees, and not quite miserable yet.

I returned to the task late afternoon, as the day's heat reached it's peak. The FUBAR and mighty sawed-off, sledge hammer rained their fury upon the decking, as if wielded by the Norse God of Thunder himself. Timbers splintered like toothpicks; a cloud of dust rose from the site.

Since we have to find a way to get rid of all the waste later and have to store it. We spent the extra time pulling all the nails. I brought in a pro. Gracie was a marvel of nail-yanking prowess. She threw herself into it with such a gusto that she soon bounced the hammer handle off her forehead. Don't worry, the hammer's fine, it's a Klein Heavy-Duty .

It was nothing that couldn't be fixed with a hug, a bag of ice and a stiff drink.

After the weekend's third cleanup. We called it quits. The carcass is picked clean, down to the sun-bleached bones in the desert.

Break time is over young lady.

Did I mention the temperature? It's April 28th, and we've officially hit triple digits. 

Summer in Phoenix. It has begun.

Enjoy your spring folks.

 

________________

<UPDATE> I tear the rest of this beast up the next weekend in the exiting conclusion to demo phase in: Tearing it all down! Bones and all



A Challenge from the H.O.A.

We received a letter from our homeowners association, a "Friendly Reminder". They just don't like our front entrance.

We've received HOA letters before; we call them "nasty-grams". They've told us we need to trim the palm trees, nip some weeds, fix a board on the gate, and even hit the place with a fresh coat of paint. Each time, we've sheepishly complied. After all, we're supposed to keep up with this stuff. It's just our Strategic Doctrine of "Inside Out", that sometimes gets us in trouble.

The letter we received this week was a mule kick to the head. Uh ohhhhh...

"We noted the overhang on the entrance way to your house was not submitted for ABM approval and is in disrepair. Please remove the overhang in a workmanlike manner. 

ABM will perform a follow-up inspection of the property...   ..in compliance by 06/22/2013 "

A few notes my dear reader:

• This "overhang" is a beast, a huge, crap-tastic beast of drunken, weekend-warrior awfulness. We want it to go, eventually, but it's not foremost on the schedule, neither time wise or financially.

Notice anything stoooooooopid?

• "State of disrepair"???!!! Nope. It's in a state of jackleg construction. The dang thing was built to look like someone pounded dog excrement with a sledge hammer.

• I didn't know it was not submitted for approval, because, I didn't build it. We've been here 7 years. I think this "overhang" has been here for 15-20.

 
• A goal of 06/22/2013 is pretty much a do-it-now situation. June is not the time to be dilly-dallying around, working on a major, outdoor construction project around here. Why? Because of this:

It's only April 27 and we're going to hit the century mark. June will be worse.

We live in one of the oldest, largest homeowners associations the country. We are in Phoenix, but our area is an urban village, almost completely cut off from the rest of the city. This village, Ahwatukee, is covered by a colossal HOA. Honestly, they do a pretty good job of keeping the place up, but I think this particular requirement is ridiculous.

A quick web search will reveal absolute horror stories from HOA's nationwide and their abuse of power, crushing individual families over unpaid fees, misplaced garbage cans, or an unapproved shed that was 2.75" too tall.

I'm not messing around. It's time to let these two, savage dogs-of-war out of their cage.

Spears shall be shaken, shields shall be splintered! A sword day... a red day... ere the sun rises!

- King Théoden

__________________________

 

 

<UPDATE> Oh yes,..  splintering does begin. Check out the carnage in the exciting saga: ... and so it begins, demolition day.